THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED. However, please continue to comment below with your best bird puns!
Welcome to the Best Bird Pun competition. Give us your best bird pun, it can be anything related with birds: a few examples: Owl by myself, toucan play that game and hawkward.
Simply write your best bird pun in the comments section, along with your name and email address, which will not displayed publicly, to be in the chance of winning 25kg No grow/No waste/No husk bird seed mix worth £28.99, a 500g bag of Premium Berry Suet Pellets worth £1.49, a Supa 12 inch Suet Pellet Feeder worth £4.99 and a Garden Wildlife Direct Medium Seed Feeder worth £5.99.
Only one entry per customer. The competition will end on Tuesday 31st January at midnight.
Good luck!
To enter the competition simply comment with one bird pun. The competition closes at midnight on Tuesday 31st January 2017. Garden Wildlife Direct reserves the right to remove any answers deemed inappropriate or offensive. Entrants must reside within UK mainland. Good Luck!
Please see our competition Terms and Conditions for more information.
Fat balls and nuts big hits with the tits and helping them to feed with will help them to breed
Owl be back
Gannet be true, these prizes. wow I would be cock a Hoopoe if I won
Name a bird that can’t sing
A Humming bird
N.Y SWAN SON
I’d rather tweet if you don’t mind.
Who is the winner please?
Who won this competition?
I won this competition, much to my surprise, and my prize came today. The 2 good quality feeders have all ready been filled with the seed and pellets and I’m sitting here watching the birds tuck in. Thank you.
My owl is getting married. Twit! T’woo???
The birdsong may be ended,but the mallardy lingers on.
Before feeding cheese to a Parus major, great tit.
A tall long legged bird ,who keeps following my husband, has just be done for storking
We don’t want to crow. we’re not robin or trying to gull you.
You’ll have no grouse, in fact you will be raven over it.
Our bird seed is the best!
Bird puns??? Toucan play that game…
Don’t let the buzzards get you down
Don’t let the buzzards get you down!
This dinner is cheap cheap x
At the cinema, I was “partridge’d”, so I went to the bar and ordered a “Starling” Black Label before going the watch the film, “Thrush” Hour! The film had very good reviews, but I thought to myself, it can talk the talk, but can the film “stork” the “stork”…???!!! Sitting by myself, I felt a bit “ostrich”-cized. However, I do “hen”joy my own company. Then someone came & sat next to me – that put a “sparrow” in the works!!! Hey, ho! I had a good night “owl”!!!
If someone in a crowd threw something aimed at the US President would his bodyguard shout Donald Duck
The DIVER knew it was ILL-EAGLE to exceed the speed LINNET but he was in a hurry to get to Garden Wildlife Direct.
When should you buy a bird? When its going cheep!
…and the priest said let osprey…
What’s black
Lives up a tree
A Crow with a pistol
owl by myself 🙁
This chick’s raven about Garden Wildlife Direct – costs are mynah , deliveries are swift and I’m so chough-ed !
Heard about this comp from the birds on TWITTER they said it was an EGGcellent one to enter no one is going to be ROBIN you, its not horrWRENdous and you wont rEGRET it, I think I’ll give it a NEST now.
All the finches come to my garden for your sunflower hearts as all the neighbours use mixed seed locally bought ha ha. I have told them where I get my seed.
Blackbirds love sultanas and we have up to 20 every morning and they make such a noise with excitement.
Starlings, please stop robin the food
OWL be FLAPPERGASTED if I win. The birds in my garden will be greatly EMUSED at my happy dance!
SWIFTLY GO TO GARDEN WILDLIFE DIRECT AND HAVE A PHEASANT DAY
SWIFTLY GO TO GARDEN WILDLIFE DIRECT
Nuts, suet to go and so much more JACK keeps a pecking at my DAW.
‘Donald Trump takes tweeting to a whole new level’
Q. Why are there no painkiller pills in the Jungle?
A. Because the Paracetemol . (because the Parrots eat ’em all)
Don’t be such a Loon: Duck the competition and Peck us instead. We are not Robin you blind and you will never want to re-Tern anything. No need to Wader around – you would be a Dodo to miss out on our offers: whatever Tweaks your Beak we have it!
Magie make a pie wren u ready im toucan into it with our robin
Aviary day good deals from Garden Wildlife Direct.
Garden Wildlife Direct products ‘Rule the Roost’.
Couldn’t give too hoots
Wren a newcomer arrived to eat at the Nuthatch the Duck asked who is that Great Tit? Starling at the Robin visitor the Song Thrush gave a Swallow and sang I don’t know Ma’llard!
Wren a newcomer arrived at the Nuthatch the duck said Who is that Great Tit? Starling at the robin bird, the Song Thrush sang I don’t know Ma’llard!
ONE GOOD TERN DESERVES ANOTHER
The House that Jackdaw Built
When I find my last wader, I’ll ‘ave a set.
If a large white bird flew at my head, eider duck down!
Feeling peckish? Best seed in town, cheep at the price.
Give the birds in your garden a real tweat – our seeds not fowl, its totally auksome, and cheep to hoot! Go on you won’t egret it, and you’ll soon be re-terning for more!
Move over starling
The birds thought the bird feeder in the ‘red light’ district of the city was a bit seedy!
I was going to give a party but with (r)egret I realised I did not avocet of party china.
Sorry, no time to chat, twit or tweet, in fact I am quite chough about being raven mad about birds.
Why was the robin well red?
Because he read his emails to keep a-breast of GWD’s best seed deals!
Whats th’rush starling ? pretty coot eh ??
I think I may have Bittern off more than I can chew with this competition !
I was feeling alright then I took a TERN for the worse, developed a CHOUGH and now feel really RUFF
I’m dying for a shag, sorry fag !
decided it was much better to buy online as the man on the market, kept giving me strange looks, when I asked if he had “fat balls”
I fed my birds grass seed, but it made them look forlorn !
Q: What is a polygon?
A dead Parrot!
Did you hear about the extreme sports enthusiast? he thought he”d try budgie jumping.
Clever avian puns I cannot find – I’m “done-lin”guistically.
I love a good chat.
sparrow us from more bird puds
The Peacocks keep scaring the Great Tits from my garden then nibble on my Fat Balls and my little mealworm.
Julia please give us a Tern!! Please don’t end up with a cock or peacock but a beautiful swan.
I am glad you lot at Garden Wildlife Direct are not Robin me like some bird seed companies, your prices are starling good as they are cheep cheep. I Dunnock know why everyone isn’t buying from you. I can’t wait for Wren the deliveries Tern up.
I Dunnock know what that bird was?
…and who’s ruffled your feathers?
If I win this competition I’ll tell all my friends on FaceROOK 🙂
The Golden Plover I got for Christmas from Aunt Coot made me grouse as it wasn’t pheasant. Indeed I felt a bit of a twite. I vowed to swallow my tongue and get swift revenge, by getting her a yellowhammer.
Save water, have a bath with a bird
Why don’t birds use Phones? Because they Tweet
This sure is a Pheasant way to spend the morning.
Tweeting gives me an appetite, so fill up the table my friends are flying in.
Willet soon be Spring?
I was going to tweet this, but didn’t, so keep your Heron, siege you later.
I know it’ll end in wheatears & a life of egret if I tern to robin banks & appearing before beaks, so I’ll pour me a nightjar of ale instead, & snipe at the folk who wanted me to travel feather down into a life of crime without any hoopoe of taking up a lawful hobby!
I’ll Swallow with pride if my birds Wood Pig-eon this fine Field Fare.
Wren I win the prizes for best bird pun I won’t be robin you. I eagley look forward to my prizes that I won’t use to rook anyone nor will I hawk the prizes or attempt to swallow the seed myself. I think that this whole game is a bit of a lark!
I was going to tweet this, but didn’t, so keep you Heron, siege you later.
Weathers taken an ARCTIC TERN, AVOCET o blankets to snuggle in, there’s going to be a BUZZARD, no there isn’t- you must be CUCKOO, won’t be taking a DIPPER in that water bowl unless EIDER DUCK shares his feathers, it’s even colder in the FIELDFARE, see how much food the others are eating-they are behaving like GANNETS, though for some it’s just a HOBBY, suspect we are as cold as ICELAND GULLS, JAY there-have you seen JACK SNIPE my food, no he did KNOT, yes he did just as I was doing a LITTLE TERN whilst trying to impress MERLIN who said the weather was going to get worse-in fact there could be a (NIGHTIN)GALE, we OWL gonna be freezing but someone PIPIT to the warmest roost, you will hear the others QUAIL, but others will simply go ROBIN the best roost and SNIPE at all getting a good TEAL of food making their feathers like VELVET (SCOTER), and WREN WHEATEAR the weather is warming up we all be happy!
You wouldn’t be robin me at £28.99 for No grow/No waste/No husk bird seed mix!
Goosebury
Wildbird feeding “otter” have no rEgrets”
ATTEMPTED MURDER
This wildlife sharing food photo “otter have no rEgrets.”
What do sick birds need? Tweet-ment!
Very cold “SU-ETS” it’s taking us Garden Wildlife Direct to the feeders!❄
Robins have red, Blue tits have blue, we all love your food too!!
No point thrushing around it doven’t matter how long tit takes.
It’s pheasant doing looney bird puns 🙂
Owl be back
Said baby tern to mummy tern, I’d like a little brother. Said mummy tern to baby tern, well one good tern deserves another!
I will be happy if you don’t send me a CROSSBILL
Do you want want my keys?
No thanks, I already avocet
Why don’t owls go a courting in the rain?
Because it’s too wet to woo!!!
AS Cassius Clay would say, “I am the Greattits”
Albert Ross (not really)
The birds are robin my feeder
Can’arry’ come to play
Keep calm and Carrion!
Don’t CROW over spilled milk
Just feeling ‘peckish’
I’ve seed plenty of birds in the garden.
Eat,Tweet and leave.
Feeding the birds using garden wildlife direct is very cheap
Foods up! Get the Flock in ‘ere
Wren will I see you again?
My brain struggles to think in puns now that I am no longer in the first thrush of youth
I hope am a winner so the birds get their dinner !
Nice golf clubs. I’ll have avocet of those please
The birds are robin my feeders
Egrets I’ve had a few
I’d love to win this owl by myself. I’m just a chirp off the owled block when it comes to feeding my birds. Toucan play at that game, I don’t want that Hawkward moment when I realise I’ve run out of seed. Best stock up @ # Garden wildlife direct.
Loving all the puns, they Quack me up
With the prices you charge you’re not ‘Robin’ your customers!
Migration is the headache birds get when they fly South for the winter.
Chick Chick Away!!
What an EMUsing competition……
pheasant way to spend the evening, probably the best bird pun I feather seen.
What did the NUThatch…..A wee bolt.
Chaffinch she loves me?
As a reward for the many birds that visit my garden throughout the year I believe that “One good tern deserves a plover”.
After the Birdies’ song it was a night in gaol
Raven lunatics !!!!
Simply … the best birds suck seed
These prices starling us in the face are certainly not robin us!!
Duck! It’s Atilla the Hen!
I don’t know which is more starling, the birds playing with my nuts or fat balls!!
This cold weather made my Great Tits, Blue Tits!!
The Great Tits love my fat balls!!
My ‘Cream Quakers’ are the ones by the woolly Jacob lot.
I can feed the birds aviary day, thanks to gardenwildlife direct. I wrote that owl by myself!
Why did the owl ‘owl? Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!
Duck or you’ll Grouse.
I’m choughed to bits about Garden Wildlife Direct.
You’ll probablycome up with the best bird pun list I feather seen
The birds in my garden are so appreciative they “tweet” me every day….
These little birds kinda crow on you
The capercaillie may be a well-bred game bird to you. To me he’s a fowl-mouthed grouse.
Toucan play at that game!
Je ne r’egret wren – piaf the little sparrow
I’ll be ‘feathering my nest’ with the money I save from buying from garden wildlife direct.
‘ave you any spanners yes I Avocet of spanners.
Willie Wagtail.
It has been reported that the robin of British tourists has declined as the pound starling has fallen in value
What do birds like to drink? Budweiser!
Jaywalking
Caws I’d like to win!
Why are there no Aspirin in the jungle?
Because the Paracetemol
boom boom
I feel jealous of birds because they always suck-seed mainly because they have no teeth
Cheep food ‘s no good you cuckoo,knot at all,not even on a skua….so tern around and lark about…..don’t owl about the weather it’s much twowit to woo…,
What do birds do in maths lessons? Owlgebra.
I don’t swan to take part but owl try my best… no sorry, I can’t finch of any puns.
I know I’ll woodcock it up, probably fowl it up, but, no robin, or Larkin going on..best offer.duck and you’ll egret it.
If I wasn’t one of the country’s favourite small garden birds, I would have been in the wrens.
I’d be really choughed if I won this prize
Tweet to woo, it’s almost spring!
You’d be raven mad not to want this prize
Eider love to win this prize!
Black sunflower seeds are flapping good.
ruffled a few feathers today
my pet chicken refuses to lay – he’s just fowl
Can you pinch an finch?
Bird puns are Hawkward
Garden Wildlife Direct: Chirpy Chirpy Cheap Cheap
With a little bit of this and a little of that. That makes up the mix for the wild bird feed. And also is the BIRDIES SONG.
I’ve been rooked like this before
“dawn chorus” please retweet 😉
I have fallen out with my neighbour, he protested when I sang common eider too rah loo ray hey. He took a great snipe at me, the twite.
It’s not plover t’il it’s plover.
You’ve got to be linnet to win net?
Time for cha, Finch!
Which bird won Pointless? – the Lesser Spotted Word Picker
My new Waders are Robin and Chiffchaff a Tit!
Toucan play that game
I thought of robin’ a few off the the website, after all, toucan play at that game and then I can avocet to send in. I was pretty choughed with the idea but have now realised after a strange tern of events that I’ve bittern off more than I can chew and am going to duck out!
Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
Dunnocking let me in please
Why did the Owl owl? Because the woodpecker would peck’er
Your prices make me owl with delight
Bird puns! We are not emused……
What can I do with my sick budgie ? have it tweeted !
Wren Will I See You Again…?
Robin bastards someone stole my car
It’s so hot, looks like you have 3 beaks crow!
Hoots man I’m watching you
To the Culture Club song “Karma Karma Karma Karma Caper-caillie”!
It would be a pheasant surprise if I won I could tweet the birds
Making puns is a very pheasent way to spend the day!!
Which bird is always out of breath ? A Puffin !!
Don’t worry about catching chirpies – it’s a canarial disease but is tweetable.
You wanna go robin banks later.
I thought up this entry in a thrush so I have no chance of winning!
Swallow your pride!
↓↓↓
Do you think I look fat because I can Pinch a finch.
Take a Gander at this!
Pigeons have attacked my garden. I called the police and they have taken them into coostudy
Been reading all these puns and they really quack me up! I could tell you a few bird puns but that would be foul
If feeling the finch don’t buy on higher perches!
Keep your heron Trump.
Once Bittern, Twite shy.
Long distance flights written by Albert Ross
What do you call a sick bird ? Illegal !
Tawny Schwarzenegger- Owl be back!
Pass me the BEAKer please.
Sparrow a thought for the birds this cold winter.
Lucky Duck
Owl peck their eyes out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I often post pictures of Tits hanging around my nuts on Facebook…..My friends seem to like them.
My, my no mess pie – more for those from the sky with no mess for the rest!
(Somerset accent) – Nice lass but woodpecker nose all’t time, nuthachly attractive b’toucan ever go wrong with a country chick’en lesser Dad is a drake-onian sorta feather.
She’s a top plover and early mornings I surprises her, I creeps up and lesser spotted, fly catcher unawares with a goosey peck. On a stormy nightingale force winds we nest’le down snuggly and whisper tweet nothings to one another. Ganet explain owl much owl miss her when she’s away.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO it’s the Sparrowhawk at it again!!
Bird puns? You quack me up
A chirp off the old block
I could murder those crows
Keep calm and carrion
Keep calm and carrion on.
Wren I have too, owl have to geese the bird flu
I bet I’m not the only tit to meantion boobies and if I am I hope no one gets robin it.
What snacks do birds like? Tweets.
I am talon you conquackulations beakause you are somebirdy who buys from Garden Wildlife Direct and hoo knows a bargain and is not a Dodo for buying your bird food aviarywhere else.
Two birds sat on a perch . One says ” can you smell fish?”
The other one says”yes”
What do birds have as snacks? TWEETS!
Owl never run out of bird food thanks to Garden Wildlife Direct
ONCE BITTERN TWICE JAY
A Chirp Off The Old Block!!
One crow flying together means there is going to be bad weather.
When the male blackbird came home he was surprised to find and egg in the nest. When questioned his wife said she had done it for a lark.
What do you call a pigeon in an army uniform? A military coo.
This winter Wren I get Eider my Black Cap or Coot on, I’ll be Choughing happy Brambling through the Fieldfarely Swiftly.
Well Owl be…someone’s half-finched my birdseed so I’m in a real (th)rush to get some moor(hen), but without a hefty bill! Better get to Garden Wildlife Direct.
This winter Wren I get Eider my Black Cap or Coot on, I’ll be Choughing happy Brambling through the Fieldfarely pretty Swiftly.
Buy from Garden Wildlife Direct this Spring and give the birds a real tweat
Our prices are Robin no one but we don’t Crow adout it we just wouldn’t Rook you!
if your birds get sick give them TWEETMENT Good seed builds them up.
My birds keep me active every day. We park the car round the side, and they chirp when they see me coming.
What do you give a sick bird.
Tweetment
A trying old bird who sometimes sucks seeds!
Robins are red , blue tits are blue , my feeders are full waiting for you !!
What do you call a depressed bird.
A Blue Jay
The Robin said to the chaffinch-‘why are you hanging around this birdfeeder-You look a bit of a seedy character’.Robin’s reply-‘You can talk your just trying to worm your way in’.
Steven Seagal Ruffles some Feathers
Too many cuckoos spoil the broth
Beak us ….why would you buy it from anywhere else???
The song is over but the mallard ‘e lingers on!
Night owler
The cockney sparrow said, off my seed you great tit.
I hope to win, but if I don’t I won’t be bittern about it
Morris Myna
Birds are better at TWEETing than the American president, Donald Trump. It keeps getting him into horWRENdous trouble and it causes people to scOWL at him! He keeps FOWLing all his TWEETS. Maybe we should give him a break or allow him to be a lucky DUCK because after all, he’s just WINGING it!!! Oh well, I guess patience is for the birds, I guess!
My finch is starting to chaff a bit
Tweet yer feathers on hen!
What do you use to put up a nail for the bird feeder???? A yellowhammer!! boomboom
Thia is the best product I’feather bought.
Everything glitters but goldfinch
Cuckoo-ca-chooo
Q. Which wader likes fruit? A. The Grape Lover.
i keep filling up my bird table with seeds but some thing keeps robin-it ha ha
Just made a Goose-berry pie and some apple TERN overs.
What kind of Bird runs the Church?
A Cardinal.
That seed is “cheep”and it’s great to see your not “Robin”people because they won’t “swallow” huge price rises
This is a cracking competition beakause hoo can resist a good bird pun?
I used to be a WREN in the navy
He was Robin them left right and centre
Faster than a speeding sparrow.
What did the Parrot a.r. drone say to the bird of pray? I can fly faster than you cock.
Have no Egrets
Robins are red , blue tits are blue ,my feeders are full and so will be you !
“I’m just scratching a living” as the chicken said to the duck!
C’mo lads, Grubs up!
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? A: Because he had a very big bill.
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/birdjokes.html
Garden Widlife Direct A Real Hoot and Owler
Robin lives in Sherwoods
I live in the south west & with our special visitors at the moment, I’m hoping to be “Waxwing Lyrical” with my comment.